some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
