So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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