I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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