dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
