Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
