Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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