No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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