imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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