If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize