Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
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