Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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