Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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