i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
