ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
