i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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