He is an equal opportunity slut.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
