I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
