if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
