Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
