I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
