Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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