I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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