I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
