Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
