omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
