You're a womanizer and a bitch.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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