I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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