I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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