My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Can I color on your dick again?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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