I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
