Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
