if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
