He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
