sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
