The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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