her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
