sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
