East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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