if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
