The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
