please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
