I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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