Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
