Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize