Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
