Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
