weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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