You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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