you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
