He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
