Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
