I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
