When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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