You kept calling me your small dog last night.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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