DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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