Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
