It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
