Dual....:-)
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
