I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We named our party play list daddy issues
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
