The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Acid is not a monday night drug
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
