I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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