6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
