So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
