Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
